Not A Killer
by Mac-alicious
Summary: Veronica's thoughts as she has the gun trained on Beaver. Set during Not Pictured.


A/N: This is my second VMars fic/one shot. It's based on the Season 2 Finale (Not Pictured) if you can't notice by the dialogue. It's basically what I thought Veronica would have been thinking as she held the gun. Obviously there are spoilers for the last episode of the second season. It's in VM's POV. It's kind of short. Uh, that's about it. So, here goes...R&R! (You know I love reviews!) Thanks. -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars.

**Not A Killer**

It all happened so quickly. Running like a blur through my mind, even as I was doing it. The next thing I knew I had the gun clutched tightly in my hands, trained directly on him. Him, who had so many marks against him. He had done so many horrible things. To me. To everyone.

"Logan, move away from him." I spoke firmly, even though I felt like I was falling about.

"Veronica, don't." Logan replied, as he scrambled away from him, toward me.

I couldn't see why I shouldn't. Why shouldn't I pull the trigger right now? He had killed so many people, hurt so many people. I couldn't think straight, bu only one thought crossed my mind. He deserved it.

"He killed my father!" I cried, as all of his transgressions came bubbling to the surface.

"Give me the gun, Veronica." Logan responded. Of course he didn't want me to do it.

"He killed everyone on the bus. He raped me!" I continued.

At my last admission, I saw Logan's eyes flicker toward him. Something changed in his eyes. He wanted him to pay for what he did as much as I did. He just didn't want _me _to be the one dishing out the justice.

"You're not a killer Veronica. Give me the gun." Logan's voice soothed.

Logan stepped closer to me, and my grip on the gun loosened. Could I really do it? Could I really kill him? After everything I had done to track him down--to make him take responsibility for the lives he took--could I really sink to his level? I didn't want to. I wanted him punished. He needed to be punished. For all the families and friends that lost someone on the bus. For Peter and Marcos. For everyone else on the bus. For Meg. For Duncan. For the little girl who will have to grow up without a mother. For my father. For me.

"You're not a killer Veronica. Give me the gun." Logan repeated.

I gave in, letting the gun slip out of my hands and into Logan's. I let him pull me against him, wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest and I cried. I don't know what it was, but I felt safe in his arms. I felt secure. I felt like my world wasn't _completely_ falling apart. I still had something to hold on to. I still had Logan. Even if everything else was going wrong.

I hadn't registered that he had moved until he was pulling himself over the railing. I felt Logan pull away from me abruptly and I watched as the scene played out in front of my eyes. I just watched.

"Beaver don't!" Logan called.

He whipped around, "My name is _Cassidy_!"

"Cassidy don't." Logan corrected himself.

"Why not?"

Logan stood silently, no words for him. I couldn't answer that question any better than Logan could. Just moments before I had a gun on him, ready to pull the trigger. Just because I hadn't, it didn't mean I had the right words to save his life. At that moment I couldn't think of anything but the things he had done wrong--everything he had taken from me and the people around me. He wasn't the Cassidy Casablancas I once thought him to be. Shy and gentle. Timid and kind. He wasn't that person...And I couldn't save the person he was. Logan couldn't either.

"That's what I thought." Cassidy responded to Logan's silence, before stepping off the edge.

The only sound that followed was the echo of a car alarm filling the air. Logan stared at the spot, that Cassidy had just occupied, in disbelief. I moved foward so that I was in front of Logan. I hugged myself to him and his arms went around me.

The cards had been dealt, the hand played...and in a way the world had gotten its justice. It didn't make anything any easier. It may have made things harder. But that's life. One tragedy after another--at least for me, for a lot of people in Neptune. You just have to get through it, survive it. And move on.

Moving on would be hard to do. Especially when you feel there's nothing left for you or you lose someone you don't think you can live without. I latched on tighter to Logan. I held on. I needed him. I needed him to help me move on, to help me move past this. To move on for all the people who couldn't. To move on without my father. To move on for myself.

A/N2: I wasn't trying to imply that Veronica ever _wanted _Cassidy to die. It may have seemed like that, but that wasn't what I was trying to portray. It was just supposed to show how upset Veronica was. Anyway, uh review and I'll love you!


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